Validation

Friend, thank you for being here and supporting me on my blogging journey. You may have noticed that I have been quiet the past few weeks… and if you didn’t notice, we can pretend you did and that you all have missed the blog posts and encouragement. 🙂 I will be honest with you, I miss it too. It encourages me so much to encourage others.

Can I be really honest with you?

I am naturally an optimistic person. Encouraging others and lifting others up truly lifts me up, but I am also human and get lost in doubt at times. Something that I have learned about myself, is that I desire validation; affirmation that my opinions are worthwhile. Sometimes when I feel like I am not serving a purpose or making a difference, I can get really hard on myself and in comes the doubt. I have it all so wrong and I want to admit that I know this. It is just a weakness of mine that I have to work on.

I also have learned that the need for validation could also serve as a positive trait for me. {Here is my optimism} Desiring the affirmation from others has made me naturally able to extend it to others. I think it would be safe to say that we all appreciate it when we are heard. Maybe eye contact, a little nod every once in a while, holding a hand or a shoulder – any indication that someone is listening. The subject doesn’t have to be deep or scary, it can be any topic – you just don’t want to feel like you are talking to a wall. Am I right? I am a good listener, I believe. Now, I won’t say that I don’t try to respond when sometimes I just need to be the listener, but I would say that my goal is always to make whomever I am listening to feel comfortable and by the end of the conversation, feel better, reassured, comforted, happy… all of those good warm fuzzy feelings we get when we confide in others.

That leads me to a few points I want to make. Surprisingly, blogging is not something that comes natural for me, while uplifting others and encouraging others does, it takes a lot of time and effort to put together my blog post. That means time away from my family in some form. I have been struggling with guilt and commitment. I have started doubting my ability to do this because I find it easy to play the blame game. I can’t see the smiles on the other end of the computer screen of those who my blog reaches. Not fulfilling the need to be validated makes it easy to say missing time with family isn’t worth the blog. (Missing time with family isn’t worth much of anything – just to be clear)  It seems I have an excuse for it all. If I was encouraged more, I would be more committed and being more committed would encourage me to wake up earlier and if I wake up earlier, I won’t be taking time away from my family during the evenings. It’s always something.

I know I’m a little hard on myself, honestly, it will always be something if we keep this up. And that is why I am writing this out. I have had to check myself lately – isn’t it obvious?

First of all, it is in no way, shape, or form that this is about me. Blogging is not a way for me to get ANY recognition – the glory is all His and I knew this coming in. To be clear, it isn’t the wishful glory that I wanted, it was me balancing time between life and blogging and hopeful for something from worldly fulfillment. Secondly, I am loved and supported by so many people in my family, community and here on WordPress and I can’t say thank you enough. I truly hope that I didn’t offend some of you that I knew would be reading this and wonder “Wait a minute, I support her!” I know you do and please continue to do so. Lastly, if I always use the excuse that I have in the moment, there will always be something holding me back. I truly believe that if ONE person stumbled across ‘hope’ in what I write, then maybe I have changed their life in some way or another. With commitment, balancing the schedule to where I wake up in the mornings for that specific time, continue putting my family first; then offering that hope is something I can do – and the only approval needed comes from the Lord. I pray to always honor Him and speak hope, love, truth and extend grace in all my writings.

Again, thank you. I know I am truly blessed. I do plan to keep up the blog, but I will be taking a break over the summer so that I can release the pressure that I put on myself. I will also be praying a lot – would you pray for me too? And I will be working on those earlier mornings… because it is so worth it.

Much love and blessings. ❤️

30 thoughts on “Validation

Add yours

      1. This has helped me. When taking a break from my second blog, I would sometimes get inspired, write a post, and it is ready for when I return. 🙂 I think the break will be much needed for you.

        Like

  1. You are such an inspiration! And real. No person is perfect and all of us need encouragement. That “doubt” you are feeling is really just a lie from the devil because you are making a difference! He doesn’t want you to know that. 😃. To me, it’s a confirmation you are doing what God wants you to do. It’s your gift from God! What a beautiful gift to have! Encouragement always brings hope! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is absolutely a doubt from the devil. I know that because of how much encouragement that I do get from so many people but also how much I get from me encouraging others, I have missed that lately but some days my hands are just full and it has to be the first to go on the back burner and that’s okay too. I know that I will get back into the swing of it soon! 😘 thank you momma!

      Like

  2. Thanks for being honest. I used to feel this way as well. To be honest the feeling still comes at times. But it doesn’t affect me as much. I have a full time job, husband, 3 kids, I am a youth leader at church and I also run a girls ministry and oh blogging lol. All of these takes time. What has helped me is that I don’t put pressure on my self to do certain amount of posts in a week. Sometimes I post almost every day. Some other times I post nothing for a week. When God gives me a message and He wants me to deliver ASAP, I do. I find I am able to work better this way. The downside of this is that I might not be getting a lot of followers as I would do if I post everyday. But that doesn’t really matter for me. I don’t want to bite more than I can chew. Find your rhythm. Breaks are ok. But don’t ever believe the lie of the devil. If God has called you to do it, He has graced you for it❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are so sweet. You definitely have your hands full also! Blessings ❤️
      Thank you for the encouragement and support! This community is so awesome! I know things will work out just fine as long as I do recognize my limits. Thank you again so much, looking forward to catching up on supporting my fellow bloggers this summer too!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for being so honest, so real. I know your pain and doubt. It does take a lot of time to blog, time that could be spent elsewhere. And when the numbers are down, the enemy is quick to throw some arrows. My family is grown so I don’t have that to factor into my decisions of what to do, but recently other family members have needed me which made keeping up with my blogs hard, and reading other blogs even harder. I applaud you for setting your priorities and keeping your family at the top. Rest is also crucial so taking a break when you need it is a good thing. I am confident that the Lord will guide you when and how often to blog, and give you that time, when it’s time for you to come back. In the meantime, know that you are loved and will be missed here.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you for your encouraging words. I imagined this being a struggle, not that I created it, just as schedules change I realize I have to be sure to find balance. When it becomes a chore rather than something I truly enjoy, it isn’t worth it. Thanks so much for the sweet words and confidence in our God – I know that He will also guide me, amen! Thanks again! ❤️

      Like

  4. Uh!!! You so just wrote about how I feel!!! Thank you for being obedient and sharing your heart. I’ve thought about closing my blog and giving up but your post truly touched me. I love your post and I apologize for not visibly supporting you more. God is truly using you!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Aw girl, don’t throw your hands up! Reorganize your priorities and take a deep breath. Remember, if you touch ONE life, you have given hope to someone that may never have gotten it. It’s hard not to see heads nod, smiles, or share stories in togetherness with a blog but the purpose is bigger. Don’t apologize to me either – I am terrible at supporting my fellow bloggers the way I would like. I just don’t have a lot of ‘spare time’ none of which I want to spend with my head in my phone to be honest. I am excited to be able to be more supportive while I take my break though. Thanks for the encouragement! Hang in there with me! 😘

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I totally identify with everything you said. I feel crushing guilt when I pursue writing over my family time. The blog was made for man, not man for the blog to paraphrase scripture about the sabbath. You don’t owe your blog anything. Seek the kingdom of God and let Him lead you. Thank you for sharing and being so candid.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I plan to take a blogging hiatus soon as well. It’s tough to find time for all the busy summer activities, and I need that precious family time as well. I’ll be thinking of you and look forward to your return !😊

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I totally get likes/comments (the interaction) between the community and me to lead me astray sometimes. I hate admitting I sometimes rely more on others’ interactions than what God puts on my heart to verify if I am on the right path. Sure, other people being touched and encouraged is a sign of fruit and the harvest, but by no means is it the only one. As a writer, I know if I have the material out there, as you shared, it may help someone, even if it is a year old or more. I’m so used to wanting verification IN THE MOMENT versus taking my time like God has with this creation and His people.

    I will be praying for you and I await to see your return 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh, my goodness, sweetie! You are human…and one of the very best humans that I know! I love you much, Good Child! 😘❤️

    Sent from Caren’s iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “I truly believe that if ONE person stumbled across ‘hope’ in what I write, then maybe I have changed their life in some way or another. ”

    This is a great blog post on the topic of Validation, Lindsay. We all as human beings seek validation and it can come in the wrong froms if we are at careful.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The words God gives you to say and/or write matter! Keep on walking under His direction.
    I wish you good success in your striving to rise earlier. Have a great summer!
    P.S. Thanks for visiting my blog, too. Prayers for God’s guidance in your use of time for His glory.

    Like

  11. Wonderful words from the heart. It reminds me of your blog title denoting love, joy and balance. Our lives need balance even as we attempt to love others and spread the joy. That’s what God expects too. You may not see actual results of your efforts in many cases but isn’t that where faith comes in also? You have the desire to write and encourage others. That is a God-honoring calling. I feel similar as you and how I want to encourage others. I even feel bad when I miss birthday wishes on Facebook and wonder what others think when I do wish someone a happy birthday. I don’t want someone to feel left out. My desire is to read every post on social media and the blog but I realize it’s not possible. I want to read and comment on every blog and I feel overwhelmed at times. However, I’ll keep working toward doing what I can while taking care of home/family/community/church commitments as well as traveling some. I’m even feeling some guilt about posting more regularly on my blog while there are so many blog posts where I want to interact. But, like you emphasize – it has to be balanced with love and joy. Sorry to be lengthy in my comments. 🙂

    Like

    1. No need for apology, I almost feel honored your reading my stuff and commenting so ‘lengthy’… haha. Thank you for the encouragement. I am learning that many of us bloggers feel the same way, trying to find the balance between supporting each other and giving our best to spread God‘s love. Oh, faith, yes – you are right there! I know that God has given me the talent and desires to testify and give hope so that others draw closer to Him by seeing my faith – so I must continue to work on that faith myself. Thanks again. Blessings to you and your journey!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: